Stronger. Together.

Now that I've had a full day to process what has happened it is time to write. Because right now it is the only thing I can do. I'm no one important. I am just a woman. In fact I am so small I have to accept in the coming years some powerful men are going to make some decisions for me whether I like it or not.

At this point only people who know me personally read this. I don't hide I am a member of the democratic party...today. And that is something that people who know me very very personally over many years have watched change. I was a republican. I hated the idea someone was "getting something for free." I hated that my country was being "invaded" by people from different cultures. I hated that women could "whore around without consequences." That was me. I believed those things. And because I was that person I very much understand what happened last night. But some very wonderful people out there loved me and talked to me. And those views changed. Now I see people who deserve basics. Cultures who had a lot of value to my country. And women who are doing stuff that is truly none of any of our business. I am very thankful for those people and I hope they know how much I love them. They changed one person. Hopefully I can continue their work.

Of course I am not happy with the results. It scares me. And I can't even lie to myself and say I don't understand. I do understand what happened. I live in a country with a terrible and hateful history. Ignoring it doesn't mean it isn't there. The slaves were free only to not be counted as a whole person. They were segregated so that they couldn't share bathrooms or water fountains with the more superior white person. Then in 1934 came the Federal Housing Administration invented a practice called redlining (bet you heard this term before but probably didn't guess it came from our own government). Those poor intercity neighborhoods that just can't seem to pull it together? This is what caused it. Not a shortage on bootstraps. Our horribly racist government. Learn more here ---> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redlining
Layer that with years of segregated schools (they are segregated) and lack of access to proper birth control and not we are in a huge massive pickle.

Now - you may be thinking, "But, Kara - I did not own slaves or segregate or invent redlining or keep them from sex education. Why should I have to fix this?" Because you are only as strong as the weakest person. Too many focus on what they are losing when people with so much can't even fulfill a basic need. Giving minorities the opportunity at an education so they can bring that accomplishment back to their community that has been suppressed for so long as a result of racism by our own government is viewed as taking a spot that should belong to a better and smarter white man. Think about that - instead of rising up the weakest the strongest people in society get angry that it isn't about them all the time. While there are so many opportunities for them they see it as some sort of injustice when an opportunity goes to someone who was born into the worst situation as a result of hate. And the black child with the perfect grades still doesn't have the same chance as the white kid barely passing (SOURCE).

And women. This is where it becomes personal. The most experienced candidate in our nations history lost to the least experienced candidate. Tell me it wasn't because she was a woman. But then tell me why she wasn't held to the same standards as the men before her. And tell me why the man who bragged about assaulting woman was fit to be president. Then tell me how the if the democratic party picked the white guy we would have won the White House. And I all I can tell you is that it hurts. Feel how you want about abortion and birth control. Hate the women who have sex without wanting to procreate. Highly restrictive abortion laws have never been associated with lower abortion rates. Show a study that shows otherwise and I will give you a free print. All I have to offer. Don't want more abortions? Me neither! No woman does. What a terrifying choice to make. But it shouldn't be your choice. There is something that can be done. More sex education! Women need to understand how to prevent unwanted pregnancies (and STDs) More birth control! Lots of free birth control! It is soooooo cheap and incredibly good for society. Because clearly no one wants to help pay for the child they so dearly needed to save after it was born. Kid doesn't happen, would be mother goes to college, contributes to society. We are only as strong as the weakest person so this is the right strategy.

I write because at this point it is all I can do. Few people will read this but right now it is the only voice I confidently have. One of my biggest heroes is a Muslim woman who believes we can save the world through education. She is the one who taught me when all voices are quiet yours can be the loudest. My voice isn't as loud as Malala's. But right now it feels very quiet out there. So perhaps I will be heard.

I cried a lot today with many different people. But I am done crying. I am going to finish this post, close my computer, wake up tomorrow, go to work at a hospital, and then I am going to create art. I hope eventually all of you will create art. I would like to see it. Out of our darkest of time has comet he most beautiful art. Please shine for us.

Earlier today someone said to me there were people who voted the way they did because they have never had to fight for something important. I believe that is true. But I know that wishing for them to experience the terrible things others will is not going to solve this. Hate is what got us into this mess. I hope as few people as possible are impacted by this election. And for the people who are affected - I have made a choice to listen and be their friend when times get tough. I will not be a "told you so girl." Because we are only as strong as the weakest person. We might not see eye-to-eye on everything. But still want you to experience art, love, and happiness. I want you to be strong. Because when you get a little stronger - so do I.

Love,
Kara

-Ber

Those last two weeks went by fast. Really fast. I didn't even realize it while spending 6+ hours playing a free Fallout game on the tablet Sunday. The only reason I even knew I needed to get a blog up today was because a colleague told me they were looking forward to it. And apparently people are actually reading it. So instead of taking my time on a pleasant Sunday afternoon while drinking my tea and resting my legs from whatever insane thing I did in the previous 48 hours I am typing this up the Monday before as fast as I can while Rich takes my turn cleaning up dinner and missing football. I swear I am going to get that darling human an epic Christmas gift this year. Like an avalanche beacon or something. So he always makes it home to fix my mistakes.

It feels like this is how it is throughout all the months that end with ber. I call them the ber months. It's cold and busy. Everyone is back from vacation, colleague's kids are back in school, cold rolling in reminds us the fireplace is broken, I need a new coat for the weather, birthdays, Oktoberfest, then Halloween, Fakesgiving, Thanksgiving, I need 4 new coats, Christmas parties,  Real Christmas, New Years...ber months are always the busiest and somehow I always manage to make it slightly worst. Which is amazing because unlike the summer I am actually home most weekends. 

So what could had possibly happened in the past two weeks that kept me away from Rogue Musings?

First, I got to photograph a distillery! I am keeping the information on the event very private until I hear back from them. Rich found the place and has become a super fan. I got the courage to ask if I could photograph the pretty stills as practice for landscape photography. I wanted to take my time and be an artist. Practice going forward to make sure what happened at Mt. Baker wouldn't ever happen again. Stills have an interesting shape that makes them fun to photograph. I got a lot out of the experience and I learned a few lessons I will be able to use when I am back out in the mountains!

Second, dog got sick. Cause that is what that dog does. Especially on work nights where we both have important meetings the next day. Don't worry - she was fine as soon as the weekend hit! Also, she is starting to eat solid food. We estimate that by 2020 she will be like a normal dog but expert analyst say that might be too optimistic and she will never be normal.

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That's my dog.

Third, the "wind storm" that hit Seattle. I wasn't affected by it but over preparing was bit of a time sink. I did try to go photograph the windstorm and all I got was a decent sunset photo.

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Stupid windstorm that never happened.

FOURTH! The beautiful artist Cindy Heine turned 75. An amazing woman having an amazing birthday. It was great getting to see the whole family get together and celebrate. And I got to see some of Cindy's new collages which were amazing of course! Go to her website, she is an amazing person! --> http://www.artylu.com/

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Oh, look! Undateable Asshats! 

Fifth, I WENT TO SEE HILLARY CLINTON SPEAK. At first I had planned on hiding my political beliefs on Rogue Musings. But with the way things are going I don't think it would hurt to say I am a major supporter of Hilary Clinton. Also, anyone holding a sign in support of locking up Clinton and making Trump President should not be allowed to date women. Get out and vote.

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I brought my little canon with me. No one said anything. She is bad-ass AND adorable!

Sixth, we got a microwave. Hard to explain why that is such a big deal but to people who know us it is a really big deal.

Seventh, signed up for basic climbing. We're going higher.

Eighth....I met an art gallery. It's love. Introducing Black Lab Gallery! Where the art doesn't suck! This place has only been around for 6 months but there is no doubt they will stick around forever. Currently selling delicious coffee and baked goods they hope to be serving wine and beer soon! Thursday is the art walk and I plan on being there around 8pm! I hope to have a few items for sale. And I would like to remind everyone that all profits from the sales go to Frankie's Friends, an organization that helps provide animals with care they otherwise would not be able to get!  

Please check out Black Lab Gallery in Everett!! It is a beautiful spot full of beautiful people. Alex and Isabella are amazing artist, themselves, and do a wonderful job in running the place. It is dog friendly and Lani LOVES it there!! As do I.

The art walk is the 3rd thursday of every month and poetry night is every monday!

• Website: blacklabonlinegallery.com/
• Facebook: Like!!

Whoever finds the most spelling and grammar errors in this post gets to decide where I am going to donate $20 to. 

happy tuesday!

Photographers Vs. Painters

It's Fall. The Fall colors are here. And this year I was determined to photograph something good for the season. I have been working hard and putting myself out there with the website and all and I was super excited to deliver. So I rented a Canon EOS 5D Mark III Digital SLR and a Canon EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II USM lens to go with it (copy and pasted that mouthful from the invoice), left the office early, and headed for the mountains! Baker Lodge in the North Cascades to be exact. Where I knew many other photographers would be gathering for the same reasons as I.

After many unscheduled stops for food, coffee, and to buy everything I forgot at home, I arrived at the lodge around 9pm. It was dark but the lights at the lodge were still on so I knew people were still up. Not only did it mean I didn't have to search for a bunk in the dark, there might still be some photographers awake and excited to talk about gear and plans! Excited to get in there and start conversing with photographers I was very surprised to see the dinning area full of....painters.

They outnumbered the photographers. Rich assured I could take out at least two on my own. But of course that wasn't the concern. There weren't any concerns! I love painters!  I got you!! 

Painters are inspiring. I have always loved the medium. Rich's mother and my sister are both painters. We have more original paintings hanging in our house from people we aren't related to than we have photographs of ourselves. It takes a different kind of patience than photography. Photographers are waiting for that perfect moment. Perfect light, perfect breeze. They often wake up early or stay out late to catch it if it ever comes. And often it doesn't and they must return later to try again - if they are able to. Then after that moment happens it is captured and they can leave the scene and go get Starbucks. 

One of the many painters I shared a cabin with painting in Heather Meadows in Mount Baker National Park. 

Painters show up before that perfect moment and stay after it has come and gone. The place as it is in any given moment is all they need. They stay through the sunrise and into the hazy afternoon. They study the place, watch the changes. And then they create what they want to share with the world with pens and brushes. They are able to emphasize details I can't even see with my eyes. It takes a lot of slowing down.

I have trouble slowing down sometimes. People who know me well are cracking up while reading that line. Creating slows me down because I am happiest when I am creating. I create for my job and for my home every day. It might not feel necessary at the time but everything I create is best when I have stopped to study my surroundings. For work it means looking beyond just how many providers are in the data and studying their behavior. At home it is asking why ingredients or tools are used in recipes to understand what I can change to make it more enjoyable for Rich and I. For photography it can mean...missing the perfect colors in the clouds right before the sunset.

The sky was super hot pink and red 5 minutes before I took this shot. And I missed it because I was hunting for a parking spot. With photography I don't even have time to park my car!

It always feels like studying a landscape is a luxury I just don't have. It can be difficult to apply to photography. Often I am carrying around my camera waiting for something to jump out at me. When I see something I often have minutes if not seconds to take a photo and move on. Often I am already rushing to get to a meeting or an appointment. I can't finishing creating a photo later in my office at home. What the camera captures is what it captures. And while post processing can help it isn't a magical substitute for getting the shot right. 

It gets to a point where even when I finally do have time to sit and study a place, I am so obsessed with not missing out I forget to focus on anything else. I actually had that opportunity last weekend. There were spots I spent a lot of time at, hours even. And I now understand I did not use that time wisely. Instead of focusing on patterns in the fall colors and the layers on rocks on the mountains I was waiting for the fog to lift away from the strata-volcano. I didn't see the trees growing out of the side of the cliff and the water reflecting the clouds because I was waiting for same clouds to move out of my way. I couldn't get over the fear of missing out and I didn't take the time to observe and appreciate my surroundings. I had a camera - a very expensive and powerful camera. But in those moments, unlike the painters, I wasn't an artist. That fancy rental couldn't make me an artist on it's own. And it is something I deeply regret.

I took this while rushing the dog home from the park so I could get going on other errands before the stores started closing. It could had been a super cool shot if I stopped to look at the cool colors behind the tree and made sure the gosh-darn leaves were actually in focus. Don't even know why I have a watermark. Not even sure if I want people finding my site because of this monstrosity. 

Gosh-darnit.

I returned to the cabin well after everyone else had finished having dinner and I saw what the painters saw. What they shared showed me the value in patience and observation. I don't know how to paint. But that didn't mean I can't learn from them. I might not always have the luxury to sit and stare at a scene so I can create a masterpiece later, but I need to learn to slow down and see the details around me. And I believe I can do this because I do it every day for my job.

I work with data. And it is insane how quickly that data can change from day to day. The questions can come at me with urgency and I do not have the time to be like, "well, let me look at all the providers independently and look at all the tiny little details about everyone." What actually ends up happening is I figure out why the question is being asked so I know exactly what I am looking for. And I understand the land enough to bring out the piece they need to solve their problem. I have already done a lot of the work a head of time so when I go to "take a picture" (have you figured out where this is going?) - BOOM! WHAM! I get that out right at the magic hour. I can work very quickly and efficiently because I have trained myself to recognize patterns and I have already memorized many of the details. I am ready for that perfect moment and I can deliver it in perfect focus.

Landscapes are like data models. Landscapes are constantly changing in small ways and the terrain is different everywhere I go. But I can stop and learn to understand them. I can study geology (which is awesome) and meteorology (which is awesome) to know where to start looking when I find a new place. I can figure out what it is I am trying to show the world before I arrive at the location. And when I run past two cute little leaves while rushing to other appointments I will see the fall colors I am surrounded in and the blue sky from a perfect day that was supposed to be rainy and two tiny little leaves that were just coming into the world only to immediately be affected by the changing season. And I will have the gosh-darn camera in focus. Gosh. Darnit.

I am posting these shamelessly without the artist permission in hopes they reach out to me in anger to tell me to take this photo down giving me the opportunity to get their names and perhaps buy a piece.

I am thankful to all the beautiful painters that were at the Baker Lodge that weekend. And if any ever reach out to me I will make sure all of them are queued up to be a featured artist here at RogueMusings.com. In the meantime I am lucky to come home with beautiful photos from Mount Baker. I am going to study them and take my time in post-processing. And next time I am not going to blow the opportunity to be a real artist.

A look back  at Baker Lodge surrounded in the fall colors before heading home. It wasn't that I still hadn't learned when I ran out to take this half-assed photo. It was raining and I needed Starbucks.

New photos coming soon!

Now What?

I have had more fun with photography in the past two weeks than I have had since the first time I ever picked up a camera. Positive feedback, support, and inspiration has been coming at me from every direction and it has been pleasantly overwhelming. Like I have been launched on this rocket ship taking me to the next step and I have come to the realization that is isn't pointed at anything.

Spent a lot of nights in the IC unit the first year of her life. For a very inconsistent list of reasons. Which is why I have so many documents only a 2TB external hard drive can hold down.

And now here I am with my fancy website, professional email, and business cards. Now what do I do? Even artist who rely on rogue musings don't just sit around and wait for stuff to happen with their creations. That external hard-drive holding almost a terabyte of RAW files (with no consistent folder structure) isn't just a paperweight for Kalani's veterinary files. It holds my greatest treasures...while holding down Kalani's veterinary files.  

Still trying to figure out the business card. I thought I would try to stand out with a portrait style card. I might be heading back to the drawing board.

So I need to point the rocket ship somewhere. At least have some way of connecting with people. I don't really see myself doing weddings, sports events, and concerts like Frank. I prefer to take photos of stuff that doesn't move around a lot. There are amazing landscape photographers that teach classes and lead photo tours like Andy. But I don't know if I am really that kind of leader right now - I literally learned about split toning 20 minutes ago. I guess I am still struggling with figuring out where to go from here. What do photographers do when they aren't taking photos (or at their normal-person job)?

At this point all I can imagine doing is making the world more beautiful. Capture images that make people want to get out and do the thing I was doing when I took the photo. That has always been what drove me. Showing people how awesome it is out there. Like, I once camped on the beach during a new moon on Cape Alava. I was all alone and this is what I saw:

BOOM!

That is a group down the beach I didn't know having a camp fire. So I mean, I wasn't alone on the beach. But no one wanted to go that weekend. And that is what they missed out on. Also that was taken like a year and a half ago. So don't be offended if you just met me and wanted to be invited. You're invited on the next trip for sure! Put April on your calendar.

But I also want to show you why we need to protect these places. There are very few National Parks you can go to these days where you don't see graffiti.

Like in Death Valley.
Beautiful Yosemite
There are people who just can't stand not being front and center.
Even the Boy Scouts are vandalizing our natural treasures.
It is just a really sad problem.

When I am taking a photo I am showing you where I went. How I got there. The trail I traveled. The route I climbed. The waves I listened to. And the photo is the only thing I take. And I bring it back to show people how important that place is. And they way I hope it will look forever so that others can see what I saw and have the experience I had.

So that is where my rocket ship is pointed. I want to inspire you to explore the mountains and wilderness. And I want to talk about how we can protect it. And I want to find charities who can use the little money I make along the way. I am just one small person, but if I can climb that big mountain - what is stopping me from protecting it?

In the words of Beverly McNeil: "Unplug and go outside!"

Beginnings

Greetings!

I finally have a website. And now most of you know why I have been so absent from Facebook. This place took an eternity to build. And since it was becoming a struggle to keep it a secret I vowed to get it done and posted...by last week actually. Rogue Musings suddenly looks pretty appropriate, doesn't it?

Why am I here? Why did I need this website? Well, for starters I wanted a place that was mine to create and express myself. Much of my family are artist. My sister has drawings that will send your imagination wild - she even designed a tattoo I am still regularly complimented on. Rich's Mother has the most pleasant water colors and collages you have ever seen and she has shown me how an art show is run on many occasions, something I wish to share with her someday. My composition skills improve every time I am around Rich's BIL thanks to his major background in art (dude is responsible for technology used in the latest Jungle Book movie). And then there are the many photographers I surround myself with that have helped shape me and my photos. Andy, Adrian, Frank, and so many others. I have abused their expertise on more than one occasion. From trying to find the right camera to figuring out why all my photos have a blue tint. They are responsible for so much growth. HEY GUYS, LOOK AT THE MONSTER YOU CREATED!!

There are going to be some growing pains. This site will probably change dramatically between now and when I have learned stuff. I will probably make a fool of myself here pretty soon. I mean, I once sent out an invitation to an entire office inviting them to have some cream cheese and beagles. But I did learn from that. I don't spell bagels wrong when sending out emails to an entire company, anymore. 

I should probably have some sort of end-goal. But I don't. I don't think I am on the path to becoming the next Ansal Adams. I don't think anyone is ever going to see one of my photos hanging up and be like, "OH! Is that a Kara Hollenbeck? I can totally tell since a photo like this could only be taken by someone who abused a snooze button until 10am and then had to turn back while the sun was still high in the sky to make sure she was back in Lynnwood before the taco bar at Whole Foods closed." All I hope for is that I get better at capturing how I feel when I am out in the wilderness and climbing the mountains. Or at a brewery. Whatever. Also, a book deal would be nice.

Overall, I believe this is going to be a great project for me. It will force me to improve. And it will keep me mountaineering and taking pictures so I can come back here and tell stories with my photos. You guys will force me to learn new skills, go crazier places, and eventually scan or type out those crazy poems I have been writing all over pamphlets and class workbooks. I am writing more, waking up earlier, staying out later, and now I am excited to share those accomplishments.

I "plan" on writing and adding updates on Tuesdays every other week. But we'll see how that goes. This isn't "well structured and planned out musings" after all. This is Rogue Musings.

Alright, I need to go and give Rich and Kalani some much needed attention. I have been neglecting those two for a week now. And Rich is starting to watch football. 

Love,
Kara

P.S. Enjoy yourselves, I am sure I am going to be cringing over this post in a few years!

Photographers make terrible navigators. They are easily distracted and forget the destination wasn't the "cool thing over there." 

I love mountaineering. Glacading...still getting the hang of it.