be·lay verb  be·lay \bi-ˈlā, bē-\
a: to secure (a person) at the end of a rope
belay a climbe
     belaying each other over the difficult places.
   b: to secure (a rope) to a person or object

From time to time I will hint at the existence of a darling human in my life. But I have never really discussed him in depth online (unlike if you met me in real life then you would know his entire history). Darling human doesn't obsess over his online presence as much as I. He might occasionally post to support something or someone who went above and beyond - like the bakery who invited us into their shop in the middle of the night to sample their gluten free muffins in 2014. And since he prefers to keep a low profile on the internet I try to respect that.

That being said he knows the risk of having me in his life. So let's talk about RICH.

Just because I am not talking about him doesn't mean he isn't a huge part of this site. Often he is the one most concerned with keeping it going. We both have a lot of responsibilities. Most of those responsibilities are around the incredibly needy manic blue heeler who due to her breed needs constant mental stimulation, play, exercise, and belly scratches. There is also cooking dinner and keeping the house clean. Just keeping up on conditioning, climbing, taking pictures, post processing, and getting photos out is incredibly time consuming. And Rich is the one taking care of all of those responsibilities when I am in front of the computer with a massive "DO NOT DISTURB IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT" sign on my office door (never disturb the groove in action). He works hard so something as simple as chores isn't what holds me back from enjoying life. Of course there is balance, this website is the first to be pushed aside when he needs me. But when the dust has settled he won't hesitate to announce he will be making dinner and taking care of the dog so I can have time to work on Rogue Musings. In return he gets Power Point presentations before photos start getting posted.

How did we meet you ask? I like to say we found each other while mining big data. The data source? Match.com. That's right! We are that adorable internet dating success story! It was an exciting day when I got my first message from such a handsome man. I still have all of the emails printed and stored in a binder in the astro-office. We read over them every December on our First Contact Anniversery. And of all the things we wrote to each other my favorite part is still the subject line in his first email:

"On belay?"

Status: Belay is on. Location: KULSHAN! AKA Mount Baker.

That first line told me everything I needed to know about what he was looking for in a relationship. Like me, Rich is into climbing. He loves everything outdoors. Cycling, mountain biking, and especially trail running. There was a lot we were excited to share with each other before we finally met in person. And while climbing was definitely on that list (along with brunch because we both really really like brunch)- those first words became very symbolic as our relationship progressed.

When you ask someone, "on belay?" you are asking them if they are prepared to keep you safe as you climb. They want to make sure you can catch them in case of a fall. It isn't something you say to someone you don't trust. You don't say it to someone you don't see as an equal. You say it to someone you are working towards a common goal with. Someone you know you can work with to safely get to the top - together as a team. And that is what our lives became. Climbing towards amazing goals and being there for each other to keep the other safe through hard times. We were whole people - but alone we could only go so far. Now the belay was on and we were able to climb higher with the support of each other falling (bad word choice) in love more and more with every pitch.

In the years that followed Rich and I traveled to awesome sport climbing and spelunking destinations. We bought a house and endured all the responsibilities that came with it from a leaky roof to the massive dead pine tree to the absolute worst - the broken washing machine. We adopted a manic blue heeler mix who decided to see what kind of emergency room records she could set in the first year of her life. We embraced art and the community. We joined the Mountaineers and went through scrambling classes and eventually basic alpine climbing. We built careers around population health and homeless youth. And not a day goes by where we don't both acknowledge how happy we are to be in each others lives. Sure life was good before we met. But together life is amazing.

In an oxygen tank with both back legs in casts. Our little train wreck.

A few months ago Rich and I had the long overdue discussion. It wasn't the big surprise story everyone always seems to want to hear. We don't believe in surprising each other with new climbs. It isn't just one person who gets to decide to keep start climbing up the mountain. We check the belay first. We both agreed we wanted to spend our lives together. And we wanted to bring our families together to celebrate. We set a timeline for marriage in the fall of 2018.

We're having FUN! Let's do this FOREVER!

The announcement for Rogue Musings was supposed to come with epic engagement photos from some iconic places around Seattle. Our incredibly patient photographer made it clear she was ready when we were. But we aren't the best at slowing down our adventures (and the washing machine broke). And even though we have been doing our laundry at the photographers house....I thought an excuse would come to me as I typed but I got none. The photographer is like our neighbor.

I decided to go ahead and officially share the news with whatever photos of us together I could find. Which wasn't really a challenge since I take a lot of photos.

I told him if he didn't smile for the selfie I was going to make sure this photo haunted him for life.

With the website heading towards some new milestones I didn't want to wait any longer. And looking through the photos became an exciting exercise. There weren't just photos of us standing on mountain tops. I found selfies taken at restaurants and events. A few even in our own home. There were evens photos from passing the cameras back and forth for goofy shots on road trips to hysterically bad failed timed shots to awkward moments while trying to get the dog to look at the camera. It was evidence we had built a wonderful life together. We have become great belay partners. And we were really good at getting each other up unreasonably early.

It's not even tomorrow and we're starting the climb....

And the adventures just keep coming. It seems as if we never go more than a few weeks without something super amazing to look forward to. And even though not every part of our relationship can be over the top with mountain climbing and epic road trips - even nights that are spent at home with each other and the manic dog recovering from however we manged to burn ourselves out are amazing and memorable.

This was Kalani's first hike to Lake Serene!

One of our first photos together - at an auction for Compass Housing Aliance.

This photo became pretty symbolic of our relationship.

And now - lot of photos of this handsome man. ENJOY!

That's Rich! We're in a cave! Technically a lava tube.

This is what I come up with when Rich doesn't cooperate with the camera.

We both just finished our last requirements to graduate from Basic Alpine Climbing with the Mountaineers. I am also working towards leadership in the outdoors - something Rich is encouraging and going out of his way to support every way possible. Soon we will start to plan our wedding. This doesn't mean Rogue Musings is becoming any less important. Part of our timeline discussion Rich, himself, made it a point to talk about how to better manage this site and take it further.

As of August 21st this website is a year old. Because of it I was able to narrow my ambitions. Putting myself out there gave me the drive I needed to take chances and figure out what direction I want to go. And now it is due for a major remodel that will be much more focused. We have been sketching out some designs that will make it cleaner and more manageable. It is a big project that we will be working on together over the winter. After this blog I will go back to being a respectful fiance and Darling Human will once again be a rarely mentioned role (the way he likes it). But that doesn't mean this site isn't in some way 50% a result of his hard work. It wouldn't be here without him. He even came up with the name - Rogue Musings.

Our engagement ring. A multi-color Montana sapphire set in rose gold. He got a GPS watch that tells him when I text him. — Our engagement ring. A multi-color Montana sapphire set in rose gold. He got a GPS watch that tells him when I text him.